The Intro-Extrovert

According to Myers-Briggs, the psychologists and pioneers whose famed personality “type indicator” helps give us all a valid excuse for any traits and behaviors that we may choose to exhibit, the basic difference between an extrovert and an introvert is not one’s level of social activity and interaction with others. It is rather whether one derives energy from those social interactions or not. Per Myers (or was it Briggs?), a true extrovert draws their energy from active involvement in events and engagement with those around them. Naturally, this does tend to mean that very extroverted people have large circles of friends and are often seen as “outgoing” and “a people person” (the traditional nay pedestrian definition of the word).

By the inverse property then, it would seem that the traditional definition of an introvert is “a loser.” However, we sophisticated students of Myers-Briggs know that this is not accurate. Introversion really just means that one draws energy from oneself, from one’s internal world and ideas. Introverts are deep thinkers. Philosophers. Spiritual leaders.

I have always wondered quite where I fall on the spectrum of “troversion” – Briggs (or Myers?) stresses that it is not a definitive label but rather a sliding scale with everyone exhibiting some traits of each. Without tooting my own horn (although M & B would doubtless excuse such impoliteness by deeming me “Feeling”), I can say that I generally like having others around me. I engage in an acceptable if not above average amount of varied social activities, and I feel comfortable in interactive settings. However, at the same time, I have always suspected that I am at heart a spiritual leader.

[M-B: “She’s so Intuitive.”]

Regardless of my future role in the church, however, it is true that I like spending time in my own head. I am comfortable alone and when reflecting on important matters I often like talking them through with just a few other people or talking them through with myself.

Clearly and like 99.8% of the population, I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum and quite honestly it’s never really mattered precisely where. Until I realized recently that I no longer spend any time in my own head. Nor do I reflect on important matters. Any talking with myself is frenetic muttering of To Do lists and is most likely done on the bus.

[M-B: “Nut Job.”]

I’m a busy girl – aren’t we all – but it’s not so much the busyness as the wholly extroverted nature of activities I am engaging in. I work at an advertising agency as a Digital Project Manager. Meaning, in sum, that my job is to listen to what clients want and then badger my coworkers until they do it. Feeler that I am, I like to think that I have a good relationship with most of my coworkers. Nonetheless, I find that I may as well begin (and frequently do begin) any work correspondence with the following:

With a job that requires pretty constant interaction with others, a wise Extro-Introvert would probably choose to spend some of their free time in quiet reflection. Recommended activities might include running, playing an instrument, taking baths or owling. I however choose to lead groups of 15-25 women and the occasional Perceiving male in the exercise regimen called the Bar Method. I teach Bar Method classes before and sometimes after work, such that by the time I arrive at the office I have already been extroverting for several hours.

This is where the muttering on the bus comes in.

I am not complaining over the choices I’ve made. [M-B: “Yes she is.”] I’m simply stating that whether Extro-Introvert or Intro-Extrovert, everyone and especially we aspiring spiritual leaders need to take some time for ourselves.

This was driven home for me on Friday night as I found myself, having passed up the opportunity to go have a ridiculous amount of fun at a cabin in northern Wisconsin for the weekend and having just said “no” to happy hour, sitting alone at an outdoor patio drinking a glass of wine and reading a book. The entire weekend stretched before me and I had no plans. I asked myself what I would most like to be doing at that very moment if money were no object. The honest answer: Sitting alone at an outdoor patio drinking a glass of wine and reading a book in the south of France.

So essentially in an ideal world I would have been engaged in the exact same activity except in a place where I know absolutely no one and do not speak the language. This struck me as somewhat pathetic until I realized that Myers-Briggs had a perfectly valid explanation (M-B: "Excuse"): I have been neglecting my undefined percentage of Intro. In fact I have been extroverting the crap out of myself to the point where all energy is sapped and inner Mandy is stunted and laying on the floor in a prone position.

Two days later, having engaged in some nice solitary blog writing and aggressive owling, I think the balance has been restored. Lookout spiritual world, I am poised and ready to assume command.

My job is to annoy you.

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After all that, I am an Extrovert. Also an overwhelming Judger.