Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A Giant Leap for Rumball Kind

Alright. So it’s been a while. However, given that in the history of the rumball “a while” has often been comparable to the gestation period of beluga whales, I suppose I should stop wasting words on needless or at least lame excuses.

[This is not to suggest that I am about to give birth to anything nearly as exciting as Baby Beluga… He was just a special little guy.]

The far more interesting comment is what has at last brought me back to the proverbial pen. The answer is simple: I found my rumball.

Alright. So it’s not my rumball, per se. It’s not even A rumball – it’s multiple rumballs. And malt balls. And rum. These balls belong to Ben and to Jerry and go by the wildly appetizing name of Schweddy Balls.

For any of you who hate fun and empty calories (which some might say are synonyms), please click here to understand what I am talking about for the duration of this post.

The next question is obvious – who ARE Ben and Jerry and how did they get such freaking awesome jobs? I could tell you the answer, but after spending a solid 20 minutes just now on the company website, I can safely say that Ben and Jerry tell it much better in their virtual scrapbook - check out 1983, good year. I can also say that it’s pretty much your standard Mom n’ Pop (or in this case Dude n’ Dude) operation turned large corporate franchisor.

Which leads me to the next obvious question – how does one possibly make a sundae that weighs 27,102 pounds?

[For those of you who have not yet checked out 1983 in the virtual scrapbook, this is the year that will forever be remembered as the year that someone made a 27,102 pound sundae in St. Albans, Vermont. Which coincidentally enough will forever be known as the town where someone made a 27,102 pound sundae.]

Upon further online investigation (which if you do not know by now is the cornerstone of this blog, and also of my existence), we learn that the 27,102 pound sundae was actually the result of a collaborative effort by the entire community of St. Albans + Ben + Jerry + a forklift. We can only assume that Ben & Jerry’s was selected as the ice cream brand du jour on that fateful day in 1983 based on mass by volume. Had those pioneering St. Albanians chosen Edy’s Slow Churned, for example, their creation may have topped out at a mere 13 tons.

The sundae, which has been described by some less-than-imaginative journalists as “mammoth,” was concocted in a swimming pool (duh) and was topped with chocolate fudge, nuts, a truckload of peaches, and a planeload of pineapples.

Which leads me to the next obvious question – who pairs peaches and pineapples with fudge? I would expect as much from Georgians or Hawaiians, but not the Vermontese! One can only hope the ice cream was rum-flavored.

Which brings me back to the present and Schweddy Balls. Available today in select grocery stores and Ben & Jerry’s scoop shops. And, in case it is not available in your town, you can either move to St. Albans (recommended) or click here to participate in all the virtual schweddy fun.

Thanks to Jenais for bringing this important rumball development to my attention.

Stay tuned for my next post – Baby Beluga: Where Is He Now?