2012! A year of continuity and change! A year of dreams and expectations and failure to meet those expectations! A year that begins and ends with the number 2!
Yes, I think we can all agree that the new year knows no limits at this point, mostly because none of us have even registered its arrival enough to stop writing “2011” on critical documents and rent checks. It is the annual ‘witching hour’ when every goal seems attainable, 24 hour days are rumored to contain 47 hours and we all believe ourselves to have heretofore undiscovered abilities and self control. Gyms are packed morning and night, people are buying Groupons for juice cleanses and unlimited yoga packages, and we’re all pretty much convinced that we are going to be skinnier, happier, better people in 12 months time.
The end result of all this build up is invariably that we all wake up feeling like weak, fat losers by January 31 and immediately revert back to our old habits. Which in all honesty are probably better than the new crazed habits we adopted for the first 31 days of the year.
Well dear readers, not this year! In lieu of grand aspirations and subsequently grander failures, I have decided that 2012 will be the year that I make resolutions that can theoretically be accomplished by ordinary human people. I will forsake the traditional overly optimistic new years resolutions for Equally Well Meaning But Realistic & Achievable Resolutions (EWMBRAR).
Allow me to illustrate with a few examples of typical resolutions and their EWMBRAR equivalent:
Resolution: Drop 2 pant sizes.
EWMBRAR: Throw away any pants that no longer fit.
Resolution: Stick to a budget in 2012.
EWMBRAR: Make a budget in 2012.
Resolution: Volunteer for a charitable organization.
EWMBRAR: Donate to those less fortunate by leaving your phone in a cab.
Resolution: Learn to cook like Bobby Flay.
EWMBRAR: Learn to cook like Trader Giotto.
Resolution: Spend less time playing Angry Birds and more time reading.
EWMBRAR: Spend less time playing Angry Birds and more time playing Words with Friends.
Resolution: Be a better person.
EWMBRAR: Hang out with people who have fewer morals than you do.
EWMBRAR: Throw away any pants that no longer fit.
Resolution: Stick to a budget in 2012.
EWMBRAR: Make a budget in 2012.
Resolution: Volunteer for a charitable organization.
EWMBRAR: Donate to those less fortunate by leaving your phone in a cab.
Resolution: Learn to cook like Bobby Flay.
EWMBRAR: Learn to cook like Trader Giotto.
Resolution: Spend less time playing Angry Birds and more time reading.
EWMBRAR: Spend less time playing Angry Birds and more time playing Words with Friends.
Resolution: Be a better person.
EWMBRAR: Hang out with people who have fewer morals than you do.
For those who quickly master this concept and wish to take EWMBRARing to a deeper level, you may want to consider the following model for the Equally Well Meaning But Even More Realistic & Achievable Resolution (EWMBEMRAR).
Resolution: Eat a more balanced diet.
EWMBRAR: Don’t eat cereal for dinner.
EWMBEMRAR: Don’t eat cereal for dinner more than once a week.
Resolution: Run a marathon.
EWMBRAR: Run for the bus.
EWMBEMRAR: Run for the bus if you really think you can make it.
Resolution: Stop biting your nails and chewing on pen caps.
EWMBRAR: Stop chewing on pen caps.
EWMBEMRAR: Buy more pens.
Start now or even a week from now and come January 31 you will just be scraping the surface of your true EWMBRAR potential. To that end, let me leave you with this sequence taken from my very own list:
Resolution: Write insightful and thought-provoking blog posts in 2012.
EWMBRAR: Write a blog post in 2012.
EWMBEMRAR: Write a blog post before January 4, 2013.
Check back in a year and 2 days to see just how far realism and lethargy can take me!
